The other day at my work I had a very sad day at my office. It was not of my own design, but instead designed by some fuckers with who I work for. Usually I have a pleasant working relations with these "bosses," who after all when all is said and done, give me money for my time, effort and blackmail. And I do not resent those who earn more money than I do because I believe in a free range market and I am not a socialism, un like the new president. (By the way, Barrack Obama is not eligible to be president because unbeknowned to most, he was not born in America! His birth was on the island nation of H'awaii!)!
Still, it made me mad and caused me to be fucked with when these bosses made the announcement that they would be "laying of" many people due to our current economy downturning (thanks again, president Obama). Hey, these are good hard workers with pleasant smelling chairs who now will make less money than they did before because they will be making no money at all!
I saw one woman, Jeanette, whose name for privacy I will change to Julia. She was crying and packing up a card board box with her belongs. She said to another man that it was good working with him and that they should stay in touch. I said "do you want to stay in touch too?" I also said "Julia, you look good even though you are sad and weak." She did not say anything but I could see that her eyes for me were full of tears and sex.
Then there was another woman, let's just call her by her social security number, 324-74-7364. I told 324-74-7364 as she was walking to the front door to look on a bright side, that it was a good thing she had that abortion last month because babies cost money and she will be poor from now on. The tears that she had been crying did not subside from this good news, but I am hopeful that they had turned to tears of joy.
But my sadness for my work friends did not delete the angry sense that I had for the bosses. Let me tell you how I made them found out. I got up on a table in the middle of the office and decided to make a speech using the words of my favorite actor Mel Gibson. "You've come to fight as free men!" I yelled. "And free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? I love you, always have. They'll never take our freedom!"
There was a long silence that seemed to last for milleniums. Then a man said that they had given him his freedom and that was sort of the problem. He then walked out of the building with his head pointed downwards at a 45 degree angle, which denoted sadness and great miserable.
One of the bosses came to the table where I was standing on top of the table and told me to come into his or her office. When I was in the office they explained that such outburstings would not be tolerable to the management. And that they had a good mind to fire me also, but they decided against it due to my long tenure at the company and also the aforementioned blackmail. This made me very jolly and rotund like Santa and I forgived their fucking. I said ho ho ho and left as nicely as you please! It was a good holiday, then, and no one had to find out. Except for the fucker who hadn't liked my Mel Gibson speech. I strangled him in the parking lot with his jumper cables. He had a bowel movement during the stranglage, which made me smile. And smiling? I guess that's the reason Christmas is all about.
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