Mike is a dick.

I meant to tell you all about this guy Mike. He is a man who fucks with me on many occasions in the past and present. The sad thing to say is that he has never, yet, found out.

My friends who are ladies and gentlemen, listen to me write this: He will find out. Mike will find out like crazy. He is a dick and to tell you this with proof, I will tell you a story of his cunning.

One time, before I knew that he was a dick who fucked with people like me, Mike and I were friends. I was taken in by his dapper looks and the elegant British accent of his parents when I planted a hidden microphone in their house. Little did I know he would be a fucker with me. I decided one nice autumn day to give him a gift, and he refused the gift, even though I had worked very hard to get the gift, because he said it was unclean. I became enraged and got a reddened face, and spit the dead mouse at his mean visage.

That was the end of the friendship of Mike, and that was the beginning of Mike being a fuck with me man. As I said before earlier, he has refused my attempts to have him find out through his wiles. But now I have a compadre -- an ally, if you will, in my hunt of this jackyl. So be sure to check out Mike Is A Dick and maybe together with the black haired German who is the blog runner, we can take down Mike.

By the way, up top is a picture of Mike, probably when people were just trying to be nice people to him and give him fresh gifts. We will have this dick find out.